- Life & Culture
Identifying as LGBTQ+ in Japan
Navigating your way out of the closet can be difficult, and doubly so while living overseas. You may find Japanese society to be conservative compared to your home country. Others might find life in Japan liberating; a chance to explore their identity on their own terms.
Regardless of where you fall on that spectrum, educating yourself about what to expect from life in Japan is important. But, before we dig any deeper, I’d like to share this disclaimer:
The information here is based on my own experience as a cisgender, gay, western, man. I have tried to provide information that applies to a wide cross-section of the LGBTQ+ community, but I can not speak to experiences that are not my own. I encourage you to do some further reading and research to hear as many perspectives as possible. You will find some more resources at the end of this article.
Life in Japan can be largely divided into two parts: professional and private. These two parts may overlap to some degree depending on the industry you work in, where you live, and how you made your way to Japan. I picked up some common scenarios I’ve run across during my time in Japan, and have provided some practical advice for fellow LGBTQ+ travelers.
Dealing with personal questions in the workplace
Many Japanese coworkers and students have asked about my personal life. Often they ask if I’m married or have a “girlfriend.” Sometimes, they notice my wedding ring and ask whether my “wife” is Japanese.
Often, these questions come up in business settings with clients I’m meeting for the very first time. My advice is to have a prepared response. It might be helpful to take note of the conversations around you. Generally, how much do your Japanese coworkers share about their private lives? Then decide for yourself how open you wish to be in the workplace.
If you decide you’d rather avoid these topics, that is okay too. As a high context culture, non-direct social cues work wonders in Japan. Try changing the subject, or go out of your way to keep answers vague. These can be an effective way of signalling you’d rather not discuss your private life. If the person you’re dealing with is still persistent, a more direct approach might be in order. Even in very polite Japanese society, asserting yourself and establishing boundaries is perfectly acceptable.
Coming out to friends and acquaintances
Most Japanese people are accepting of LGBTQ＋ people. However, you may encounter a lack of fluency or understanding of specific identities, issues, and concerns for the LGBTQ＋ community, especially among older generations.
Although Japan has made big strides toward equality over the past few years, there is much work to do. Misinformation, stereotyping, and discrimination are very real issues facing the LGBTQ＋ community in Japan.
One of the benefits of being a foreigner in Japan, is that Japanese people may be more understanding of you falling outside the many societal expectations for behavior in Japanese society. You might find Japanese people are more open and frank with you, specifically because you fall outside these expectations. You may be the first LGBTQ＋ person to ever come out to some of your Japanese friends or coworkers. Expect questions and be prepared to dispel some myths, or untie some knots of confusion.
Just like you will often play ambassador for your home country and culture, you may also find that you are viewed an ambassador for the LGBTQ+ community. Remeber, familiarity often breeds empathy. Your willingness to open up, share and educate the people around you can have a very real impact on LGBTQ+ rights in Japan.
Mingling with the locals
In short, if you wouldn’t do it back home, you probably shouldn’t do it here. Best practices still apply in Japan. Many of the dating apps used in your home country are also used in Japan, with homegrown varieties as well.
If you live in or near large cities you can likely find LGBTQ+ bars or neighborhoods where you can meet LGBTQ＋ foreigners and Japanese people alike. If you are in a more rural area, you may find online alternatives to be the best option for making friends and finding love.
If you are planning to “hookup”, use common sense: meet in public, inform a friend of your plans, and practice safer sex. Although Japan tends to be safer than many of our home countries that doesn’t mean there are no risks.
Be careful, and take steps to remain safe, such as sharing your location with a friend before going out on a date.
If you’d like to learn more about dating in Japan, feel free to check out our guide to Dating in Japan as a Foreigner, which includes handy tips to navigate Japanese dating culture, as well as a list of LGBTQ+ friendly apps that you can use
Getting serious
I have had Japanese partners, and known others who have dated Japanese people who are partially or completely closeted. While things are starting to change, it’s not unusual for LGBTQ+ Japanese to segment their lives as to allow them to maintain a certain “respectable façade”.
This can take a variety of forms, and often seems to depend on a mutual unspoken agreement to turn a blind eye to what may seem so glaringly obvious. If things do get serious, have an open, very honest discussion about what that means to you and your expectations for each other.
As LGBTQ+ people, we need to have the same conversations heteronormative international couples have, in addition to an honest discussion about how “out” we want to be as a couple. Be open to hearing what being “out” might mean for your partner, their career, and their relationships. Also, give some thought to how your partner staying closeted or coming out can impact you individually and as a couple.
Finding your community: Queer Culture in Japan
Navigating life in Japan as a foreigner can be exciting and interesting, but at times it can also be isolating and difficult. This can be doubly true for LGBTQ+ folks.
It’s important to find a safe space where you can lower your guard and let your pride flag fly, so to speak. If you live in a larger urban area, you might find an LGBTQ+ inclusive hang out to fill this need for community. If you live in a more rural area, you might need to rely on an online community, or plan regular escapes into a larger city to find your community.
Either way, making an effort to get out there, meet people, join online social media groups, and seeking out local LGBTQ+ affirming events in your region may make your time in Japan more enjoyable. Engaging with your local LGBTQ+ community in Japan may enable you to meet like-minded people, friends, and even potentially your next partner!
While being LGBTQ+ is only one aspect of who you are, making room for that part of yourself is important for good mental health.
Information and resources in English can be hard to come by, but one of the best resources in English on LGBTQ+ life in Japan that I know is Stonewall Japan. In addition to their main website they maintain an active social media presence. The Stonewall community has been a valuable resource for information, advice, and comradery for me and many others.
If you are seeking information specifically on navigating Japan as a transgender or non-binary person, they maintain a dedicated tab on their website with a downloadable “Trans* guide” and “Transgender Japan life resource” in addition to a list of clinics and other resources. This is a great place to seek out more information and additional perspectives on life in Japan. Their social media is updated on a regular basis and can be a valuable resource for more local information, and a great place to crowdsource advice.
Same-Sex Marriage in Japan
Unfortunately, while there is a thriving LGBTQ+ community in Japan, the Japanese government does not currently recognize same-sex marriage.
While in many prefectures, same-sex couples can receive same-sex partnership certificates that acknowledge their union and confer some benefits (such as the right to visit their partner in hospital), these do not offer the same legal recognition as heterosexual marriages or civil partnerships.
These certificates also aren’t legally binding, so while many institutions such as hospitals and rental offices accept these certificates, there is no recourse for same-sex couples if a person or organization refuses to acknowledge their marriage status.
The campaign for equal marriage in Japan is still ongoing, and according to the Stanford Japan Barometer, many Japanese residents (particularly the younger generation) are in support of same-sex marriage. In the 2023 results of this public opinion survey, approximately 47% of participants were in favor of legislation to legalize same-sex marriage.
In March 2024, the Tokyo District court even delivered a ruling which classed the current ban on same-sex marriage as unconstitutional, and in violation of Article 24 (2). However, same-sex marriage has still not been legalized, or formally recognized in Japan.
Top 5 LGBTQ+ Bars in Tokyo
In the city of Tokyo, many LGBTQ+ residents and travelers flock to Shinjuku, which boasts a number of gay bars and LGBTQ+ friendly spots. Here are 5 of the top-rated LGBTQ+ bars and clubs in Tokyo, and the ‘gay neighborhood’ of Shinjuku.
1. Arty Farty
Located in bustling Shinjuku City, Arty Farty is a popular gay bar with locals and tourists alike, boasting a large menu of drinks, a dance floor, and various DJ sets throughout the week. Be aware, female visitors may need to be accompanied by a gay male companion for entry on certain days of the week, but this LGBTQ+ friendly bar is a great place to begin your night out!
2. Rainbow Burritos Doumo
This fantastic bar and burrito spot may be a big hit with Americans and other travelers, for the authentic Mexican and fusion cuisine they offer, alongside their range of beers and cocktails. Rainbow burritos Duomo is a queer-run bar and restaurant, which has been popular with the LGBTQ+ community, and particularly lesbians, for many years.
With comforting, flavorful food and a range of vegetarian and vegan options, this is a fabulous place to celebrate a special occasion, or just visit for some after-work drinks.
3. Muscle CLUB BLACKNUDE
Don’t be intimidated by Muscle CLUB BLACKNUDE’s name—this Japanese muscle bar may employ an array of handsome, well-built men, but there’s certainly nothing seedy about this venue! Muscle CLUB BLACKNUDE is a fun, vibrant atmosphere which caters to all kinds of people, so LGBTQ+ folks and foreigners can be sure of a warm welcome from the bar’s resident bodybuilders.
4. AiiRO CAFE
From the outside, AiiRO CAFE may seem like a small bar, but this classic Shinjuku LGBTQ+ night spot is bursting with character! From the lively decor to regular drag queen and go-go performances, make sure to make a stop at AiiRO CAFE to inject some excitement into your night out.
5. BAR GOLD FINGER
BAR GOLD FINGER is another gem in the crown of Shinjuku’s nightlife. While this bar caters to women-only on a Saturday, every other day of the week it is a queer-friendly bar, welcoming people of all gender identities and sexualities. Try out their wonderful array of Japanese and imported beers, and sing up a storm with nightly karaoke!
Live your dream
In short, life in Japan can and should be a great adventure, no matter how you identify. Before embarking on that adventure, make sure you’ve done your research and be prepared. That is the best way to ensure your life in Japan is as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.
If you’re interested in working in Japan, consider applying to be an ALT with us here at Interac. We provide an excellent opportunity to explore Japan, while earning a living enriching the lives of young people through language and education — and we’d love for you to join the community.
For more advice on how to get the most out of life in Japan as a foreigner, check out the Interac blog for more articles like this one.